The Scots don't handle discussion of abuse well, do they?

Especially Scots men. They avert their eyes to the stories, tune out when it's being talked about on the news. They don't want to hear about yet another inquiry into some sad old perv fiddling with wee boys 20 years ago.

In the country of the hard man, silence is still king. That's how they've been brought up, playing the strong tough guy who will never admit to any form of weakness, emotion or vulnerability. They've made suffering in silence a national trait, from the trenches of the First World War to the seats of Wembley Stadium earlier this month.

And there it is - football. The national game which symbolises it all. The field of dreams onto which is projected power, status, manliness and pride.

Up until now, the sport at every level was the last bastion of conservative masculinity. Fitting in was all that mattered. No young man dared admit to being gay. No one could show sensitivity, either on the pitch, or amongst the crowds, for verbal abuse is the favourite blood sport in football.

No one exposed the cruelty of the clubs who took on - indeed still take on - dozens of young kids, exploited them and discarded them if they failed to make the grade. And no one dared admit, even if they suspected it, that there were sordid individuals in the game abusing vulnerable children.

The harder you were in football, the more you were admired. Any boy who wanted stardom just had to look at the jawset of those mythological figures, the Alex Fergusons, the Jock Steins, the Bill Shanklys, to see that.

But ten days ago, a bomb exploded in English football when former youth player Andy Woodward alleged that he had been sexually abused by the former Crewe youth coach Barry Bennell, later convicted of offences against children. Since then, dark secrets from the sport have been tumbling out.

On Sunday, the Football Association confirmed it is investigating allegations of sexual abuse in football and has appointed a woman QC, an expert in child protection, to assist. Four police forces are investigating, more than 20 former footballers have come forward with allegations of historic sexual abuse as youth players and six or seven clubs, including Crewe, Manchester City and Newcastle are said to be connected with "particular individuals".

The scandal is expected to grow. Pat Nevin, the former Scotland star, has suggested child abuse could still be happening in youth football. As has the head of the NSPCC children's charity in Scotland. The charity has set up a dedicated 24-hour UK-wide phone line, 0800 023 2642, supported by the FA, the Scottish FA and the players' union, PFA Scotland. There have been more than 100 calls.

Anyone who thinks nothing like that ever happened in Scotland has forgotten the scandal at Celtic Boys Club in 1998 when James Torbett was convicted of sexually abusing Alan Brazil, David Gordon and James March between 1967 and 1974. It was all brushed under the carpet because the national mood required it to be. The time was not right for Scottish football to examine itself. But only a fool would be certain that other boys did not suffer in the same way.

Let's be honest. It's not just the silent tough-guy Scotsman who zones out about abuse. We are all allowed to feel rather Savile-d out. It's easy to be impatient, even uncaring, if you were unaffected. I am as bored of hearing about the vile deeds of Catholic priests as I am irritated by what can resemble an abuse industry, a sense of witch hunt and ubiquitous victimisation, which carries real dangers. Recent scandals involving the fantasist 'Nick', who fooled both the BBC and the Metropolitan Police, allowing innocent famous names to have their lives unfairly sullied, exposed exactly how harmful over-reaction can be.

As well as that, we are proving to be hopeless, in both England and Scotland, at abuse inquiries. We have not yet worked out how to tackle it: in both jurisdictions the national inquiries into historic sex abuse are flailing around in semi-chaos, lacking leadership, progress or anything much to show for years of expensive work.

But it ain't easy; and it is vital. With sexual abuse, we are talking about the stuff of people's souls. I personally can't imagine how hard it must be to carry a terrible secret like that most of your life, or how brave you need to be to share your darkest, most buried memories - the sense that, from childhood, you were somehow to blame. But I do know of someone who is a self-destructive alcoholic - because he was abused as a child 50 years by a friend of his parents and has never come to terms with it. He is unable to speak to counsellors about it.

Scotland's primary job now is to acknowledge the possibility that there are many others in the same boat, suffering in silence. Let football help show the way to tackle it. Our macho, aggressive heritage means that generations of men have bottled up all kinds of pain in their lives, causing them all kinds of personal difficulties through life.

All the statistics indicate this. The male suicide rate in Scotland, 19.3 per 100,000 people, although happily decreasing, is the highest in Great Britain. NSPCC figures show that across the UK boys are over five times less likely to speak up about sexual abuse than girls.

Matt Forde from NSPCC Scotland says people must be able to speak out and get the help they need "and we know that can often be more difficult for men and boys".

In 2015/16 Childline conducted 1193 counselling sessions with boys about sexual abuse, compared with 6486 girls. Of these, 284 were conducted with girls contacting the service from Scotland with just 27 being held with boys.

No, there is no epidemic of abuse in football. No, it is not just football that is the problem. But anything to do with this symbolic game that encourages people to open up is hugely important. Let it happen, and let hard men learn to conquer silence.

Comment by Melanie Reid. Melanie's Spinal Column appears in The Times Saturday magazine.

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