Nothing makes the small 'c' conservatives of Britain quake more than yobs. Those feral, teenage wastrels who only break their gaze from their smartphones to take drugs and kick defenceless animals.

And if the teen menace isn't enough, what about the concern and danger caused by homeless people? Brazenly trying to sleep near places where people buy things.

Luckily some brave businesses, councils and law enforcers have taken the matter in hand.

Glenrothes town centre shops have been encouraged by police to shut off the free Wi-Fi in an effort to stop young people congregating late at night. Officers claimed free internet and places to sit were reasons that teenagers chose the area to hang out.

There was no mention of why youngsters did not have anywhere better to go...

Barriers popped up the Glasgow's St Vincent Lane last year. They were intended to stop homeless people sleeping next to a heating vent. After being widely condemned they were removed by a vigilante.

Who placed them there in the first place remains a mystery with building owner Savills refusing to comment.

Such measures have been especially prevalent in London, where some particularly heartless shop and building owners have installed spikes to deter sleepers.

The Mosquito is a nightmarish, Orwellian device which transmits an irritating electronic sound at such a high frequency that it is only audible to people under the age of 25.

It has been described as "a clear example of direct discrimination", but has become popular among some shopkeepers and homeowners.

The Scottish Government ruled out a ban on the 'anti-teen' product, which is appearing across Britain to deter young people from congregating.

Not content with physically disrupting rough sleepers' attempts to rest, Bournemouth Borough Council decided to go one step further by using bagpipe music in a sort of Guantanamo Bay inspired aural deterrant at a bus station.

Bagpipe music was "piped" in between the hours of midnight and 6.30am and any of us who have walked past Scotland's numerous tartan tat shops will know the pain that can cause.

So not only an inhumane way to deal with a societal issue but also a calculated slight to the proud nation of Scotland.

Tyne and Wear Metro used a superficially more benign method to end alleged disruptive behaviour from "the young people": classical music played at stations where teens congregated.

According to Tyne and Wear spokesman and chief cringe officer (we assume) Tom Yeoman it has "completely eliminated the problem".

"The young people seem to loathe it," he told BBC News.

"It's pretty uncool to be seen hanging around somewhere when Mozart is playing."