Are you a modern man with a pressing query about ties or newfangled dance steps or what the hell rugby is all about?

Or perhaps you have a modern man in your life and seek help to enlighten him on the Paul Rudd/Seth Rogen oeuvre or the existence of fragrances other than Old Spice and Brut.

Whatever your problem, however many Scotches are required to answer it, John MacKay is here for you.

Ask Anchorman is his style guide for the modern man. Submit your questions using the contact details below.

Is it ever acceptable to wear brown shoes to work?

Colin Mackay (no relation), via email

Anchorman says: No. Next thing you will be wearing "slim-fit" suits with jackets so short they barely fall below the waist. Your hair will be a mess of sculpting gum and close cropping.

Brown shoes, if you must wear them at all, are for the weekend and leisure only. Possibly with comfortable corduroys in a country shade.

Anchorman says: It has to be the piece and square sausage, but only - and this is important - only if the bread is plain bread with a hard, black crust. The sausage, of course, needs to be smothered in brown sauce, although ever be alert to the dripping issue. The tea - always tea - must be strong and sweet.

This will set you up nicely until your mid-morning Scotch.

Anchorman says: I'm a Windsor chap. Classy. The Balthus makes the neck disappear and the face appear chubby. It is the sort of knot that footballers wear with a cutaway collar. The general rule is never, ever attempt to copy the fashion of a footballer for there lies the road to ridicule. What next? Sleeve tattoos, diamond studded earrings, daft hair shaving?

Anchorman says: There's a chap who remembers his days of being Steadfast and Sure in a youth organisation with military overtones. There is nothing in life that a bit of formation marching won't prepare you for.

Anchorman says: There is a simple answer to this. I never run. No one has ever looked classy running. Ever. The puce, sweat smeared face, limp hair and bellowing cheeks is not how one should present oneself. And all for what - so that one can complain about one's aches and pains in a sorry attempt to impress who exactly? No, one should perambulate with dignity. When you have your runner's face - you know the pinched, but sagging skin from being bounced up and down too often, we'll talk again.

Anchorman says: Go commando.

Anchorman says: This is troublesome and requires emergency measures. If you have any sense of style at all you will never wear broad designs on your tie. However, needs must. Use your finger to spread the brown sauce into a bold sweep on your tie. If you're in luck, the interviewer might think of this as a statement from a bold thinker. They probably won't, but it's your only chance.

Anchorman says: What's wrong with that?

Email AskAnchorman@stv.tv or tweet @RealMacKaySTV.

John MacKay is presenter of the STV News at Six and Scotland Tonight. He is author of Notes of a Newsman, which are his notes about being a man in news. He is renowned for his style, charisma and knee-weakening charm. He totally didn't write this bio himself.